Chaotic Thoughts

Random thoughts are constantly going through my mind. They stopped for awhile with medication but are now always there again. They spin like a top in my mind. After awhile this gets very tiring. At times I can ground myself but others my mind really just wonders and runs off on its own little thought... hell I dont even remember where I was going with this... I will try again later...

Day is almost over.

I dream of you nightly now.. constant in my thoughts.. Welcome back into my life its been empty without you here. I have missed talking with you and knowing that someone really understood. You offer something that only few can.. someone who understands and cares.

There has been SOOO much going on these days.. work is a nightmare.. as always. Our Sr. Systems Engineer is leaving and we have hired his replacement but she doesn't start for 16 days after he leaves. I just hope she isn't stuffy... too many geeks are.

I love my work.. just wish that it could be easier to get along with Mr. ****** (to say it nicely). The people I work with are all really nice and I get along with just about everyone.

This weekend on Sunday (the hottest day of the year here) we had a picnic with some of us from work. Took my bud Ron with me and had a decent time. It was hot and just wore yah out. We didn't stay long but it was nice getting all of us together. Just wish we could have had a better day.

I am going to try really hard to start posting more... but we shall see how things go.

Hope everyone is doing good!! Huggsss! :)

So.. since August work has been promising me this position.. well.. come to find out I will not be getting the position afterall (unless I get really lucky before Wed). Its really okay with me. I think this is kinda what I needed to get my butt in gear and move on to something else. So I have been spending a lot of time with resumes and so forth trying to network as much as possible. Using everything I have to find me something, anything computer/office related I will take at this point I just want to move on. I dunna.. I will see what happens this week.

So, now for my little rant.. besides everything that is happening with me at work I am watching them as they screw over a really good friend of mine at work. She is so dedicated and hardworking, she is always there and is dependable.. it makes me so mad. She is just like I am now so mad at them and want to screw them over. Yet there are people that we work with that do nothing and are never there and they get everything handed to them on a plate. It makes no sense to me but I am not management so what can I say really.

Aww crap, I gotta get to sleep.. I really wanna go and see Cindy tomorrow morning!!

I am such a blonde.. I completely locked myself out of one of my computers today, so I am having fun using Linux boot disks trying to find a good crack for Win Admin passwords.. my HDD is sata and well, none of the ones that I have found like the sata nor my chipset for that matter. So I am duplicating my sata onto and IDE drive and will go from there. I should be leaving work now but I have a feeling I will be here for a bit longer because I can't leave with knowing I am locked out. Haha! I must be home by 6 tho.. I am cooking dinner tonight. Ahh.. back to progress..

So life honestly is pretty great right now. Things are moving along at a steady pace and I seem to have found my groove in life. I awaken every morning ready to move through the day with no regret and no remorse. I really like the environment that I work in, I like pretty much everyone I work with and school seems to be a little to easy so far this semester.. couldnt be because I dropped from 18 credit hours to 12 would it? lol Yes, I think that has a huge part in me being relaxed and able to keep my head above water. I am learning so much everyday at work and just love the experience that I am getting being there. I love the fact that I have access to all sorts of educational material and software so that I can try things out for myself. I can honestly play and learn all at the same time. *total geekness* w00t!! heh!

Matters of the heart.. well.. not so much. I mean.. well. I dunna how to explain it. I am not in love, or crazy about anyone at this point, a very cleansing feeling really to know that this happiness is ALL MINE! :) I have been in such a goofy mood lately and am back to making people laugh all of the time. Its great to honestly see me comming back.

I have discovered that I am a very emotional person, I get tied up in my emotions quite often.. altho its been better since the meds have gotten leveled out and I remember to take them everyday. All in all things are happy for me.. such a change of life.. *see I am smiling*

Drake pulled through his surgery and recovery just fine (even though I think I made a bigger deal out of it than he did) but he is all healed and no more Mr. Humpy Doggie. Hehe!!

Well, I was able to piece a newer computer together for my mom and dad today so I am working on getting windows xp (BLAH) installed and some other software installed for them.


OOOhhhh and I got Adobe Creative Suite 2 today!!! YEAH!! I have sumthin to play with now!!

Already I am dreading this semester. I have to much work to do to worry about something as dumb as "homework and reading assignments". The one class that I thought sounded half-way interesting this semester was Network Server (the Windows 2003 way) well.. seeming as I have been totally disenchanted with Windows anyway and am a total Linux whore now I really.. well could give a rats ass as to what he is trying to teach me. He pretty much said tonight in class that Linux sucks because its "open source". Well IS THAT NOT THE BEAUTY OF LINUX/UNIX??????? Statistics show that a unix or linux server operates at a higher success rate than Windows 2003 servers?? So what is up with that.. and he is PROUD he still has a Server running on a P2 with a whole 512 of RAM? I wouldn't be bragging about that.. UPDATE your shit!!

So... on the whole job front... the deadline to apply for the position was 8/19 w00t!! I am the only internal applicant.. double w00t!! The hiring committee for the position met TODAY!! *getting very excited here* All I can think about is Medical Benefits!!

Called Colorado Cherry Company today and ordered Donna some of her preserves that she fell in love with that I brought back with me. I ordered four jars for her.. hehe.. she will be so excited.. I havent told her yet and she is completely OUT!! heehe!!

Its early.. but Mr. Sandman has a good hold of me tonight.. so I think I am turning in!!