Chaotic Thoughts

So many things in life happen without a known cause, unknowing what will come of it, what will happen, how it will happen, how you will react to it. So few things are done with full intentions. I have been trying to be very aware of what is going on in my life and trying to act on it as clear headed as I could. I know that I allow things to get out of hand and it is one of my major faults. Patience would help this. Considering that I have no patience at all things tend to get blown out of proportion. I know this, yet I never change it. A personality flaw I suppose. There are things about me that I like, and things that I just wish I could change. I know that there are so many things in life that we cant change but I would think that perseverance would allow you to change. I want to have constant control over my life and what is going on. I have to learn to accept that I cannot always have that control when other people are involved in life. I need to allow myself to kinda roll with the punches. I find myself constantly hiding behind my emotions and not allowing people to honestly see the true me. If they get to close then I pull myself away by creating a situation that almost seems there to be no resolve.

Ohh.. I am just blabbing.. need to do homework…