Chaotic Thoughts

As a child you think that the more friends you have the better right? Growing up and becoming an adult has proved that wrong to me. I feel that the fewer friends you have the closer that they are and the more that you can trust them. I have been stabbed in the back by more friends than I can honestly remember. What I do remember is how it felt and that I promised myself that I would never treat anyone in that manner. I feel that friends are an extension of family, these are people that know the most about you and those that you trust with your problems, your fears, your joys, and most commonly your secerts. Sometimes its hard to tell who is honestly friend and who is foe. Usually this takes time to find out and once you do discover someone you thought was a friend is honestly a foe. I have found that about several people in my life, people that I thought that I could trust and be honest with. Yet, in the end they enjoy talking about you behind your back and making your life their amusement because they have nothing better to do than to pry into your personal affairs and make those affairs known to all those around you. I don't understand why people must be like this. How sad their lives must be if they have nothing better to do than to sift through someone else's life. I have thought about not journaling anymore because I am sure my journal is a source of information for them seeming as I no longer talk to these people. Yet, this is one of my outs.. a vent. This is my soapbox.

Believe it or not folks, I am happy, I am enjoying my life and living it to my specifications and no one else's. I like where I am at in life, I like the person that I am. I am HAPPY and don't rely on anyone else for this happiness. I don't have to know everyone's business around me.. nor do I find it necessary to spread things around about other people.

I would like to think that to those of you who consider me a friend.. I am a true friend.. nothing more.. or less...