Chaotic Thoughts

There are times when I find it very hard to allow those thoughts and feelings that are deep within me to be seen by anyone on the outside. I hide those true feelings with flirtations and sexual induentos. Very few people know what it is that I honestly want deep down and those people took what I wanted and crushed me with them. In my past I have struggled with sexuality and what I honestly want in life. When it all boils down to it I want it all happiness, love, contentment, friendship, companionship and so much more. I want to find that one person that I feel I honestly connect with on all levels. Someone that I can be honest with them about my past and they accept it as that my past and get to know me for the person that I have become today. A person that I am proud to be. A person that is constantly growing and changing and sets goals high and loves the challange of achieving them. To find someone to have stimulating conversation with yet be comfortable in complete silence. To not feel as if I am being judged with each question. I want someone to will take the time to get to know me, the real me. Someone who is not afraid to open up and be themselves in return. Who will be willing to allow someone into their life.

I guess when it all boils down, I want someone who understands me, someone who likes the same things I do, and I can carry on a conversation.

Enough for the moment... My thoughts are imcomplete...