Halloween

Oct. 31st, 2005 04:46 pm
jstmealways: Rainbow Graphics (Default)
It is cold, dark and rainy on this Halloween, totally suiting to my mood here recently. So many things that have happened none of them life altering or anything, just lots to think about recently. I wish for one day I could just wake up and not be thinking about work, Reuben, and all of the things that I still want to accomplish in a very short amount of time. I don't understand why I have such a problem with attaching myself to people so quickly, why I allow my emotions to over rule my decision making. I know what I want right now and it is indeed solitude. I want to be left alone to think and complete these goals that I have set for myself. I have very high expectations of myself and I know that in order to do them I need to concentrate on me and my life. I know that having someone else in my life I will then allow them to consume me and their wants and needs will then shortly become mine, loosing sight of what I want and need out of life. I need this time alone. I enjoy time alone. I don't mind being single and I know that in the end I will be much more self confident.

Stay strong.. be true to myself.. everyone that steps in my way can fuck off!!

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jstmealways: Rainbow Graphics (Default)
jstmealways

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