jstmealways: Rainbow Graphics (Default)
So.. since August work has been promising me this position.. well.. come to find out I will not be getting the position afterall (unless I get really lucky before Wed). Its really okay with me. I think this is kinda what I needed to get my butt in gear and move on to something else. So I have been spending a lot of time with resumes and so forth trying to network as much as possible. Using everything I have to find me something, anything computer/office related I will take at this point I just want to move on. I dunna.. I will see what happens this week.

So, now for my little rant.. besides everything that is happening with me at work I am watching them as they screw over a really good friend of mine at work. She is so dedicated and hardworking, she is always there and is dependable.. it makes me so mad. She is just like I am now so mad at them and want to screw them over. Yet there are people that we work with that do nothing and are never there and they get everything handed to them on a plate. It makes no sense to me but I am not management so what can I say really.

Aww crap, I gotta get to sleep.. I really wanna go and see Cindy tomorrow morning!!

Halloween

Oct. 31st, 2005 04:46 pm
jstmealways: Rainbow Graphics (Default)
It is cold, dark and rainy on this Halloween, totally suiting to my mood here recently. So many things that have happened none of them life altering or anything, just lots to think about recently. I wish for one day I could just wake up and not be thinking about work, Reuben, and all of the things that I still want to accomplish in a very short amount of time. I don't understand why I have such a problem with attaching myself to people so quickly, why I allow my emotions to over rule my decision making. I know what I want right now and it is indeed solitude. I want to be left alone to think and complete these goals that I have set for myself. I have very high expectations of myself and I know that in order to do them I need to concentrate on me and my life. I know that having someone else in my life I will then allow them to consume me and their wants and needs will then shortly become mine, loosing sight of what I want and need out of life. I need this time alone. I enjoy time alone. I don't mind being single and I know that in the end I will be much more self confident.

Stay strong.. be true to myself.. everyone that steps in my way can fuck off!!

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jstmealways

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